Now, i am the neonate in my carrier. Luckily i was posted to MIri, by God grace that life is far better than those in other hospital. I would say, Miri Hospital is the best hospital of all. Where else can have a call with 8 hours sleep?Where else can have 2 houseman covering the same ward?Life is getting better once the day of life increase.
I remember the early days when i was in OnG. I was blurred for almost everything, the most scariest is the CTG. I do not have a clue how to manage a bad CTG. It make me really frustrated and scared.
I regreted for one incident during my first call. Whether directly or indirectly, a pregnant lady who is under my care delivered a flat baby and later confirmed to have HIE stage 3. The baby was discharge from hospital with NG tube in situ. I truely regret for that incident. I depressed for 1 month and become workalcoholic in that month time.
All my friends are very supportive. By looking at my labile mood, even the Mo who scolded me on that time apologise that she should not being so harsh ans inconsiderate. One or two of my friend bring me out for liquor, i remember, i ordered a cocktail, name, sex in the beach!!I was drunk and just let the cat out.
It proved that my lecturer,a phychologist was true, i was a neurotic person. I might go insane and breakdown if I do not control my emotional well.
After waht i have said and done, everything has passed. Christmas has passed as well and I do enjoy having chicken chop alone. Life is better now but not to the best which I look forward for it in new year
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
fear and fancy to Miri
The day of medical student has passed, the day of having fun, joke and class are ended. A new chapter of my life is about to disclosure, more responsibility will be beared on my weak shoulder. Housemanship training is about to start.
Miri, is the hospital offered by authority, a place where mile, and mile away from my howntown. It is a place i never been and never would expected to go. I knew, this is life, to be accurate, this is a doctor life. As long as the place got people, people who need my service and help, we have to be present at the place to provide not just treatment but the best treatment in the hollistic way.
I was shock initially when the authority broke the bad news. I sweat and shiver until the back of spine. I lost my common sense and a stupid question was asked by me in shaking and frail tone: Do Miri has airport?Then, every one who present understood my fear and worry.
The journey to Miri is not simple from my hometown, Selama. All kind of transport is needed, you name it. From Selama to Kl (7 hours), KLIA to Kuching (2hours)(register at Sarawak health department) then from Kuching to Miri (2hours). You can say that I have travel from the northen part of Malaysia to West.
Now, the problem is whether i can come back to peninsular Malaysia after 2 or 3 years of services. Whatever the future stand, I kept my finger cross and say:"Mirian" here I come.
Miri, is the hospital offered by authority, a place where mile, and mile away from my howntown. It is a place i never been and never would expected to go. I knew, this is life, to be accurate, this is a doctor life. As long as the place got people, people who need my service and help, we have to be present at the place to provide not just treatment but the best treatment in the hollistic way.
I was shock initially when the authority broke the bad news. I sweat and shiver until the back of spine. I lost my common sense and a stupid question was asked by me in shaking and frail tone: Do Miri has airport?Then, every one who present understood my fear and worry.
The journey to Miri is not simple from my hometown, Selama. All kind of transport is needed, you name it. From Selama to Kl (7 hours), KLIA to Kuching (2hours)(register at Sarawak health department) then from Kuching to Miri (2hours). You can say that I have travel from the northen part of Malaysia to West.
Now, the problem is whether i can come back to peninsular Malaysia after 2 or 3 years of services. Whatever the future stand, I kept my finger cross and say:"Mirian" here I come.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
"Penanti" fresh blood
Who will be the winner?
Will N use the same old tactic he used last time to surprise us with his bombshell?
Mr "you know who" wouldn't be so stupid to contest and put himself on stage to be defeated. Impossible for an old man with pride and full autonomy to act in such. More jaw dropping and nuisance accusations or scandals are expected to be unfolded.
I have lost my patience just to think of how ridicule they can become....
Will N use the same old tactic he used last time to surprise us with his bombshell?
Mr "you know who" wouldn't be so stupid to contest and put himself on stage to be defeated. Impossible for an old man with pride and full autonomy to act in such. More jaw dropping and nuisance accusations or scandals are expected to be unfolded.
I have lost my patience just to think of how ridicule they can become....
Monday, March 2, 2009
Our prayer
Make us keep the sputtering lantern burning,
and not to break a wounded reed.
Make us understand
the secret of eternal life
from pulse of blood in our veins
and realise the worth of our life
from the moment of a warm heart.
Make us not discriminate
the rich and the poor,
the high and the low,
the learned and the ignorant,
those we know well and those we do not know.
Oh!
A human life can't be exhanged with the whole world
this supreme task of keeping the lifes
of the sons and daughters of God.
Let us realise how lovely it is
to feel the burdens of responsibility.
"ISA 58.6-14"
and not to break a wounded reed.
Make us understand
the secret of eternal life
from pulse of blood in our veins
and realise the worth of our life
from the moment of a warm heart.
Make us not discriminate
the rich and the poor,
the high and the low,
the learned and the ignorant,
those we know well and those we do not know.
Oh!
A human life can't be exhanged with the whole world
this supreme task of keeping the lifes
of the sons and daughters of God.
Let us realise how lovely it is
to feel the burdens of responsibility.
"ISA 58.6-14"
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
"Hari" ini dalam "Sejarah"
SINGAPURA KELUAR DARI MALAYSIA
Reference
· Redzuan NHMJM, Samah AA, Rashid IHM. Pengajian Malaysia, Kenegaraan dan Kewarganegaraan; Edisi kedua;78-81.
Legend:
(........)= Nothing is more true than this
(........)= ?????
(........)= !!!!!!!!
(........)= :(
Minat mendalam Singapura untuk menyertai Malaysia tidak kekal. Pelbagai peristiwa dalaman telah berlaku dan memberi kesan ke atas pendirian Singapura tentang keanggotaannya dalam Malaysia. Lebih kurang dua tahun selepas Malaysia terbentuk orang-orang Melayu dan Cina di Malaya dan Singapura mengalami polarisasi kaum yang berbahaya. Yang jelas, polarisasi itu berlaku di antara pelampau Cina di Singapura dengan pelampau Melayu di Malaya, tetapi semakin mengancam toleransi dan hubungan kaum Cina-Melayu secara menyeluruh. Saluran perbalahan itu ialah People's Action Parti Singapura dan PERIKATAN di Malaya.
Keretakan hubungan Singapura-Kuala Lumpur mula timbul dalam suasana pilihan raya pertama Malaysia pada tahun 1964, manakala PAP merupakan antara banyak parti bertanding. Sebelum pilihan raya Lee Kuan Yew dan beberapa pemimpin PAP yang lain berkali-kali memperkecilkan MCA termasuk mengatakan pemimpin MCA kurang berkaliber dan terlalu bersahabat dengan UMNO. Kata-kata seumpama itu tidak disukai bukan sahaja oleh pemimpin MCA tetapi juga oleh pemimpin-pemimpin UMNO termasuk Tunku Abdul Rahman yang sangat menghargai persefahaman dan hubungan baik UMNO dengan MCA.
Sikap Lee Kuan Yew dan PAP amnya ditafsir oleh MCA dan juga oleh UMNO sebagai satu taktik PAP hendak mengambil alih peranan MCA dalam menjaga kepentingan kaum Cina. Kempen pilihan raya PAP secara besar-besaran jelas menunjukkan sikap itu. Laungan PAP supaya Cina menyokong PAP bagi memaksa pemimpin UMNO mengubah layanan sosial dan ekonomi mereka terhadap penduduk bandar menyebabkan pemimpin UMNO menganggap tindakan itu satu serangan langsung terhadap orang Melayu dan hak keistimewaan Melayu.
Sesungguhnya kempen pilihan raya pertama Malaysia itu satu peristiwa yang memberi kesan yang serius. Sementara orang Cina berasa keliru, orang Melayu amnya terus mencurigai Lee Kuan Yew. Sebilangan besar orang Melayu mentafsir tindakan Lee dan amnya PAP sebagai tindakan untuk menimbulkan permusuhan. Rasa permusuhan politik semakin lama menjadi sentimen perkauman yang negatif. Kecaman PAP seterusnya terhadap MCA sebagai parti yang lemah dianggap oleh pemimpin PERIKATAN satu usaha memecah belahkan persefahaman baik dalam PERIKATAN. Menjelang Julai 1964, ketegangan hubungan kaum sangat jelas. Malahan ketegangan meletus menjadi rusuhan sebanyak dua kali; iaitu pada 21 Julai dan sekali lagi pada 2 September 1964. Peristiwa-peristiwa itu telah merosakkan persefahaman antara Tunku dengan Lee. Hubungan Lee dengan pemimpin-pemimpin MCA juga semakin merosot. Keadaan ini telah mendorong Tunku melahirkan rasa kecewanya lalu menyatakan bahawa jika pemimpin Singapura merasakan tiada lagi persefahaman, mungkin perpisahanlah sahaja penyelesaiannya.
Bagi tempoh empat bulan pertama tahun 1965, hubungan Singapura-Kuala Lumpur ditandai dengan perang suara. Pertikaman lidah mula disertai oleh lebih ramai pemimpin. Tiada lagi nampak usaha ikhlas oleh sesiapa untuk membaiki keadaan. Sebaliknya semua pemimpin yang tampil hanya untuk menguatkan perjuangan pihak masing-masing.
Pada 27 April 1965, Singapura mengumumkan satu konvensi bagi membentuk "United Opposition Front" (Barisan Pembangkang Bersatu) bertujuan memperjuangkan persamaan hak. Seterusnya Lee Kuan Yew memulakan kempen "Malaysia Untuk Orang Malaysia" dengan penegasan bahawa tiada sebarang kaum pun di Malaysia lebih asli daripada kaum-kaum lain. Kenyataan itu dianggap oleh orang Melayu satu cabaran langsung kepada status orang Melayu. Setelah konvensi diadakan pada 9 Mei, ternyata laungan slogan PAP semakin menyatukan orang Cina untuk memusuhi Melayu.
Keadaan semakin meruncing setelah kempen "Malaysian Malaysia" Lee disambut oleh ekstrimis UMNO di bawah Jaafar Albar dengan laungan "Melayu Bersatu". Sementara itu pemimpin-pemimpin MCA mula melahirkan rasa tidak senang terhadap pendirian Singapura. Tan Siew Sin dan T.H.Tan antara pemimpin MCA yang mula mencadangkan Singapura berpisah daripada Malaysia.
Bagaimanapun usaha mencari penyelesaian telah dilakukan berkali-kali dari Jun hingga Ogos. Semuanya gagal kerana Singapura terus memburukkan keadaan. Akhirnya pada 7 Ogos 1965 Lee dan Tunku menandatangani persetujuan untuk berpisah. Pada 9 Ogos 1965, parlimen meluluskan rang undang-undang perpisahan. Dengan itu Singapura dengan rasminya keluar daripada Malaysia.
…………
Sebagai penutup beberapa persoalan boleh dikemukakan sekadar merangsang minda dan membuka perbincangan ilmiah. Bagaimana barangkali sekiranya Singapura terus kekal dalam Malaysia?.....
Reference
· Redzuan NHMJM, Samah AA, Rashid IHM. Pengajian Malaysia, Kenegaraan dan Kewarganegaraan; Edisi kedua;78-81.
Legend:
(........)= Nothing is more true than this
(........)= ?????
(........)= !!!!!!!!
(........)= :(
Minat mendalam Singapura untuk menyertai Malaysia tidak kekal. Pelbagai peristiwa dalaman telah berlaku dan memberi kesan ke atas pendirian Singapura tentang keanggotaannya dalam Malaysia. Lebih kurang dua tahun selepas Malaysia terbentuk orang-orang Melayu dan Cina di Malaya dan Singapura mengalami polarisasi kaum yang berbahaya. Yang jelas, polarisasi itu berlaku di antara pelampau Cina di Singapura dengan pelampau Melayu di Malaya, tetapi semakin mengancam toleransi dan hubungan kaum Cina-Melayu secara menyeluruh. Saluran perbalahan itu ialah People's Action Parti Singapura dan PERIKATAN di Malaya.
Keretakan hubungan Singapura-Kuala Lumpur mula timbul dalam suasana pilihan raya pertama Malaysia pada tahun 1964, manakala PAP merupakan antara banyak parti bertanding. Sebelum pilihan raya Lee Kuan Yew dan beberapa pemimpin PAP yang lain berkali-kali memperkecilkan MCA termasuk mengatakan pemimpin MCA kurang berkaliber dan terlalu bersahabat dengan UMNO. Kata-kata seumpama itu tidak disukai bukan sahaja oleh pemimpin MCA tetapi juga oleh pemimpin-pemimpin UMNO termasuk Tunku Abdul Rahman yang sangat menghargai persefahaman dan hubungan baik UMNO dengan MCA.
Sikap Lee Kuan Yew dan PAP amnya ditafsir oleh MCA dan juga oleh UMNO sebagai satu taktik PAP hendak mengambil alih peranan MCA dalam menjaga kepentingan kaum Cina. Kempen pilihan raya PAP secara besar-besaran jelas menunjukkan sikap itu. Laungan PAP supaya Cina menyokong PAP bagi memaksa pemimpin UMNO mengubah layanan sosial dan ekonomi mereka terhadap penduduk bandar menyebabkan pemimpin UMNO menganggap tindakan itu satu serangan langsung terhadap orang Melayu dan hak keistimewaan Melayu.
Sesungguhnya kempen pilihan raya pertama Malaysia itu satu peristiwa yang memberi kesan yang serius. Sementara orang Cina berasa keliru, orang Melayu amnya terus mencurigai Lee Kuan Yew. Sebilangan besar orang Melayu mentafsir tindakan Lee dan amnya PAP sebagai tindakan untuk menimbulkan permusuhan. Rasa permusuhan politik semakin lama menjadi sentimen perkauman yang negatif. Kecaman PAP seterusnya terhadap MCA sebagai parti yang lemah dianggap oleh pemimpin PERIKATAN satu usaha memecah belahkan persefahaman baik dalam PERIKATAN. Menjelang Julai 1964, ketegangan hubungan kaum sangat jelas. Malahan ketegangan meletus menjadi rusuhan sebanyak dua kali; iaitu pada 21 Julai dan sekali lagi pada 2 September 1964. Peristiwa-peristiwa itu telah merosakkan persefahaman antara Tunku dengan Lee. Hubungan Lee dengan pemimpin-pemimpin MCA juga semakin merosot. Keadaan ini telah mendorong Tunku melahirkan rasa kecewanya lalu menyatakan bahawa jika pemimpin Singapura merasakan tiada lagi persefahaman, mungkin perpisahanlah sahaja penyelesaiannya.
Bagi tempoh empat bulan pertama tahun 1965, hubungan Singapura-Kuala Lumpur ditandai dengan perang suara. Pertikaman lidah mula disertai oleh lebih ramai pemimpin. Tiada lagi nampak usaha ikhlas oleh sesiapa untuk membaiki keadaan. Sebaliknya semua pemimpin yang tampil hanya untuk menguatkan perjuangan pihak masing-masing.
Pada 27 April 1965, Singapura mengumumkan satu konvensi bagi membentuk "United Opposition Front" (Barisan Pembangkang Bersatu) bertujuan memperjuangkan persamaan hak. Seterusnya Lee Kuan Yew memulakan kempen "Malaysia Untuk Orang Malaysia" dengan penegasan bahawa tiada sebarang kaum pun di Malaysia lebih asli daripada kaum-kaum lain. Kenyataan itu dianggap oleh orang Melayu satu cabaran langsung kepada status orang Melayu. Setelah konvensi diadakan pada 9 Mei, ternyata laungan slogan PAP semakin menyatukan orang Cina untuk memusuhi Melayu.
Keadaan semakin meruncing setelah kempen "Malaysian Malaysia" Lee disambut oleh ekstrimis UMNO di bawah Jaafar Albar dengan laungan "Melayu Bersatu". Sementara itu pemimpin-pemimpin MCA mula melahirkan rasa tidak senang terhadap pendirian Singapura. Tan Siew Sin dan T.H.Tan antara pemimpin MCA yang mula mencadangkan Singapura berpisah daripada Malaysia.
Bagaimanapun usaha mencari penyelesaian telah dilakukan berkali-kali dari Jun hingga Ogos. Semuanya gagal kerana Singapura terus memburukkan keadaan. Akhirnya pada 7 Ogos 1965 Lee dan Tunku menandatangani persetujuan untuk berpisah. Pada 9 Ogos 1965, parlimen meluluskan rang undang-undang perpisahan. Dengan itu Singapura dengan rasminya keluar daripada Malaysia.
…………
Sebagai penutup beberapa persoalan boleh dikemukakan sekadar merangsang minda dan membuka perbincangan ilmiah. Bagaimana barangkali sekiranya Singapura terus kekal dalam Malaysia?.....
Monday, February 23, 2009
Clever RPK
Recruiting BN youth to stand by our side is the cleverest way to gain more popularity. One is that, he make us think that Malaysian shouldn't be biased toward the already persisting party. As long as they are given the chance for paradigm shift from muiltiraces oriented and bottomless curruption to clear water transparency and sharing, Umno is still able to lead us in the future. We, Malaysian are not dissatisfied with Umno the party, as they, the old fashioned folks deemed we are, instead, the scandal, unsolving corruption, unjust management, autonomy and abuse of power are the factors which make Malaysian nausea vomitting and children crying. Chances are there if reformation is initiated.
On the other hand, for those extremist, tiger in the old jungle, they will take this idea seriously as it would threaten their position and "power". The young generations usually are less fixed, concrete and ego at their thought and decision. Hence, chances are there, for them to swing from the conservative thinking to socially unacceptable contemporary ideas. The young generation has the fresh mind to be moulded. These idea will test the perception and faithfulness of the opposition party leader as well. We might see, who is the one who is just fighting for their party, own interest instead of the nation good.
3th is, despite doing so, the ultimate aim is not deviated. Conversely, there will be more young political hero regardless origin from governmental or oppositional party would stand up on their feet to fight against the old fashion dominating tigers. The time of victory is near as more capable leaders are mushrooming.
Now, whoever fight for transparency, single race or even same family will definitely win the game especially those from the members of Umno. Let's us pray for that day to happen. If not, I would anticipate more agressive and bloody idea in the future.
On the other hand, for those extremist, tiger in the old jungle, they will take this idea seriously as it would threaten their position and "power". The young generations usually are less fixed, concrete and ego at their thought and decision. Hence, chances are there, for them to swing from the conservative thinking to socially unacceptable contemporary ideas. The young generation has the fresh mind to be moulded. These idea will test the perception and faithfulness of the opposition party leader as well. We might see, who is the one who is just fighting for their party, own interest instead of the nation good.
3th is, despite doing so, the ultimate aim is not deviated. Conversely, there will be more young political hero regardless origin from governmental or oppositional party would stand up on their feet to fight against the old fashion dominating tigers. The time of victory is near as more capable leaders are mushrooming.
Now, whoever fight for transparency, single race or even same family will definitely win the game especially those from the members of Umno. Let's us pray for that day to happen. If not, I would anticipate more agressive and bloody idea in the future.
Friday, February 13, 2009
5 weeks more....
Eat books, sit books, toilet books, sleep books, dream books. I am gonna be mad in no second...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Love for my valentine...
Love is patient and kind,
It is not jealous or conceited or proud,
Love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable
Love does not keep a record of wrongs
Love is not happy with evils, but is happy with the truth.
Love never gives up,
and its faith, hope, and patience never fail
(1Corinthians 13.4-7)
P/s: to all who love....
It is not jealous or conceited or proud,
Love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable
Love does not keep a record of wrongs
Love is not happy with evils, but is happy with the truth.
Love never gives up,
and its faith, hope, and patience never fail
(1Corinthians 13.4-7)
P/s: to all who love....
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Politic watch....
What is the role of being the people representative?And, what does a country actually mean?
Let's back to the basic. A country exist by a group of people who own the same ideation, dream and goal to achieve. Therefore, together hand in hand in the same bot, they build, develop, mantain, and enjoy the achivement in the country. A group of people fight for their "country" independence because they felt that the "foreign" invaders are not originate from the locality. Theoretically, geography is the main determinant for the people nationality. By then, because of lacking mass media and communication in the past, the country is not influence from out forces. However, in this era of globalization and migration, the "country" definition has altered....
As time went by, the human learn to protect their right, ownerships and pride by making the rules and regulations. The rules are made and modify by the people representative at times to times to adapt the circumstances changes. As the idea of borderless world spread, the security and ownership of each country has been threatened seriously. The number of enemy has become larger and more alarming. The competition has become intense among country in the field of economy, politic, social, cultural, technology...etc. The presence of such real competition mold the human in this world to lost tract and addicted to the original means of survival. And, the sense proud and pride upon their ownership propagate as the competition persist.
Therefore, human has adopted the behaviour of jealousy, cunning, self protected, abusive, deceitful, scoundrel, oppressive...etc. The conservative concept of sharing of idea, dream and goal has decayed slowly by generation to generation.
As a result, is the "country" still persist? Are people representatives still needed? Why give the idiot the chances to corrupt and mismanage our property!!!We, should stand up, once and for all, reject all the nuisance and "joker". ---"people voice"
Let's back to the basic. A country exist by a group of people who own the same ideation, dream and goal to achieve. Therefore, together hand in hand in the same bot, they build, develop, mantain, and enjoy the achivement in the country. A group of people fight for their "country" independence because they felt that the "foreign" invaders are not originate from the locality. Theoretically, geography is the main determinant for the people nationality. By then, because of lacking mass media and communication in the past, the country is not influence from out forces. However, in this era of globalization and migration, the "country" definition has altered....
As time went by, the human learn to protect their right, ownerships and pride by making the rules and regulations. The rules are made and modify by the people representative at times to times to adapt the circumstances changes. As the idea of borderless world spread, the security and ownership of each country has been threatened seriously. The number of enemy has become larger and more alarming. The competition has become intense among country in the field of economy, politic, social, cultural, technology...etc. The presence of such real competition mold the human in this world to lost tract and addicted to the original means of survival. And, the sense proud and pride upon their ownership propagate as the competition persist.
Therefore, human has adopted the behaviour of jealousy, cunning, self protected, abusive, deceitful, scoundrel, oppressive...etc. The conservative concept of sharing of idea, dream and goal has decayed slowly by generation to generation.
As a result, is the "country" still persist? Are people representatives still needed? Why give the idiot the chances to corrupt and mismanage our property!!!We, should stand up, once and for all, reject all the nuisance and "joker". ---"people voice"
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Human searching
How coincident and ironic that today I went to few popular places in Ipoh to search for a young girl who deemed to has ran away from house. Here start the cat and mouse chasing game between a over anxious mother and defiant daughter. I felt pity for both of them as it was another miscommunication problem. And, to make the thing worse, the girl is suffered from deafness and muteness. Unfortunately, she is still out of sight and contact.
The feeling of searching for a lost soul could be so distressing and hopelessness.
The feeling of searching for a lost soul could be so distressing and hopelessness.
Never think that i was wrong
It is just happened to read a blog at this wee hours that make me realised what i had done was totally wrong. I never ever stand in her shoe and use my bloody brain to think twice before i act. i am ready to apologise deep from my heart that i had done it wrong and unattentively. Thanks God that giving me the chance to know you better by reading your blog. Sorry.....i would repay my debt somewhere, somewhat and somehow....
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Neurotic...
Am i already had grown up as an adult or still trapped in the world of teenager?Still, I am confusing for my own indeterminate personality and trait. My age and physical appearance is not growing on par with the mind, thought and emotion. I once naively believe that i am already an adult who own the ability to judge, process sensory input and present myself wisely and "maturely".
Is the adult thinking signify a mature man or the mature thinking signify an adult man?
If a person who is neurotic and act accordingly with what his heart and gut voices, is he belong to the adulthood?It sounds ridiculous and nuisance that how can a person possibly controlled by the voices of emotion and "6th" sense. Is his future and dream to be an adult is dim?
The mind and heart are the main players in the game. I am sure that stony hard, cruel and conscete hearted person would not have the same dilemma. That's mean, the more conscious the person is to the power of mind, he will eventually dig his own grave and become more neurotic and indeterminate.
The question now is how to migrate from the neurotic and darker inner-built dungeon of himself to the open ground where he is able to be like normal ordinary persons. Are we, human are obliged to obey the law of nature where "maturing" is the path we must step foot on but conversely we are born with neurotism initially?If this could be done, what else the human mind could do?
Is the adult thinking signify a mature man or the mature thinking signify an adult man?
If a person who is neurotic and act accordingly with what his heart and gut voices, is he belong to the adulthood?It sounds ridiculous and nuisance that how can a person possibly controlled by the voices of emotion and "6th" sense. Is his future and dream to be an adult is dim?
The mind and heart are the main players in the game. I am sure that stony hard, cruel and conscete hearted person would not have the same dilemma. That's mean, the more conscious the person is to the power of mind, he will eventually dig his own grave and become more neurotic and indeterminate.
The question now is how to migrate from the neurotic and darker inner-built dungeon of himself to the open ground where he is able to be like normal ordinary persons. Are we, human are obliged to obey the law of nature where "maturing" is the path we must step foot on but conversely we are born with neurotism initially?If this could be done, what else the human mind could do?
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